Pinky had recently graduated from Bombay University. But her passion was cosmetics. So instead of working for others she decided to start her own company making beauty products. Pinky was trained as a chemist and she knew all about bleaches and exfoliants and other harmful chemicals, and so she decided to stay away from them. Instead, she would sell herbal and natural products that make you beautiful and radiant. Simple time tested good old stuff like haldi, chandan, mehendi ...you know. Ya the same old grandma stuff marketed in shinny new plastic jars ...
So she went about it systematically.She registered a company. Called it "Radiant and Glowing" The man who took the fees said "Congratulations Ms Pinky.Now you are the owner of a new company.Where is my meethai box?"Pinky went to chappan bhog and got some mixed barfi for the officer."Here" enjoy the meethai she told him and as she was preparing to leave the office,the chaprasi suddenly woke up from his sleep and saluted her and asked her for chay pani ka kharcha.
Pinky was taken a back. Is this the new place for begging she wondered and walked out hurridly. After a week she got letters of congratulations from different govt deptarments and other institutes. She did not even know they exsisted before this time.They were the sales tax,central excise, income tax, chamber of commerce, BEST, water dept, sewage dept, public works, dept of industries, mumbai municipality, dept of health, Mining ,Fisheries,Environment, pollution control board, public safety, Ministry of education scientific and technical research, MIDC, MSFC ,ICICI customs and police dept. Different security agencies and commercial real estate agents.
She was truly mystified. There were so many forms to be filled and so many fees to be paid and so many licences to be obtained.
"Oh My Gosh!" Thought Pinky "This is worse than exams. What are all these forms?"How many workers will I employ? More than 1 hopefully..How many cubic litres of sulher di oxide , ammonia, or chlorine am I going to emmit? None you idiots !Its all natural products.
How many cubic litres of water will I need per shift ? I wish I knew.
How many megawatts of power do I require? Who cares?
What are my projection plans for next five years? I dont know. What are you talking about?
Am I planning to export ? Sure! thought Pinky and decided to ignore all these letters in the true spirit of a budding young enterpreneur. Bidding for time.
She would just concentrate on her products.For unless she had some creamy haldi chandan blend to put into the hour glass shaped nude peach jars with oversized round caps, there was no point in filling out any forms. So she just focused on finalizing the ratio of creamy shea butter, cocoa butter,almond paste,cucumber extract, haldi, chandan, besan, malai,etc in her kitchen laboratory.
She put different combinations of these ingredients in different jars and put them in micowave , in deep freeze, in sunlight, in dark and cool place to study the best formula that would be stable and effective.Instead of guinea pigs she just used her left and right hand and left and right legs to test the different formulas.It was all done like Pastuer.Remember how he injected himself to prove that vaccines work? Pinky would carefully study her right and left hand and right and left legs in the same spirit : that of a true inventor.
But the agencies were not used to being ignored. They sent threatening and warning letters of reminder to Pinky and some more forms. She decided to face them this time.Since I have no pollutants at all I will go to the Poluttion control board first she thought.
She carefully and truthfully filled out the forms. Paid the fees submitted to the concerned dept.The chaprasi told her to wait.She waited patiently for her licence to be issued. The one thing she observed sitting there was that the officer was really having some digestive problems. Every few mins he would nod to some one in the waiting area and vanish to the public washroom. She also saw a lot of people in the waiting area had mithai boxes on their laps."There are lot of people celebrating here, but celebrating what ?" she wondered.
After she had waited and waited for half a day the chaprasi took pity on her and said,"Madam chay pani kuch lauon ?""No no "Pinky replied. "Ab mera licence ata hi hoga aur mein ghar jake khana khaoongi! Thanks ""Madam licence aaj nahi banega.Usko time lagta hein. ek do maheena." informed chaprasi eyeing her with interest.
"To pehele kyo nahin bataya? "Pinky flared up."Aur madam, agli baar meethai ka dabba lekar ana!"chaprasi flashed his rotting teeth and she fled hurridly.On her way out she saw the officer go yet another time to the public washroom. Poor sick fellow she pitied him even though he had wasted her time.
She went home and filled out all the other forms as truthfully as she could.She went to all those other depts and paid their prescribed fees.Then began the waiting game. All the hot and heady threatening letters were a thing of the past. No more warnings. No more reminders! No nothing! She waited and waited eagerly for replies.By now one entire year had passed. She had made trial runs of her best formula on all members of her family. Her friends swore by the radience and glow of her beauty creams.
Pinky paid a large amount of B&W money to lease a gala in an industrial estate. She got a commercial mixer, and employed a few girls to come and fill up the plastic jars, and pack them in nicely decorated cartons.She employed some salesmen to distribute all those jars and collect payments from scores of stores all over the city. Her business took off well. Her product worked its magic on the dry malnourished faces of teenage girls.It was an instant success.She was happy that she took the risks.
The only thing that worried her was that she still had not heard from any of those agencies and had not yet got a single licence. As far as those govt agencies were concerned she was completely non existant .One day she was passing by the pollution control office, so she decided to go up and collect her licence.
As she was about to enter the lobby, she saw the officer emerge out of the washroom. In his hand was a meethai box.It did not make any sense. Anyway. She sat in the waiting area and looked around.Several people with several meethai boxes waited there. Same as last time. And the officer kept doing the same thing too. Nodding to someone, going to the public washroom, coming out with a meethai box.Then chaprasi going to officer taking the licence from him, going to the party, giving party licence and taking partys signature. End of story.
By now Pinky had begun to understood the non taught non discussed unspoken terms of Indian Business. She knew that the meethai box contained no meethai at all.It was full of edible money..khaneka paisa.When you khao so much paisa, public washroom to jana hi padega na every five mins.Armed with her new insight Pinky prepared several meethai boxes and her salesmen handed them to different departments and soon she got all her licences too.Now she could take her business to an entirely new level.
"We Indians love our meethai na?!" she began next time she entered a licencing dept.
Monday, March 17, 2008
tell me why
Tell me why?
Uncle uncle , please tell me why ?
Why the sky is blue? and red and pink and golden too?
Why do birds have beaks, and fish have gills?
Do crocodiles cry, can ostrich fly?
Did giants exist ,do you beleive in ghosts?
Why do volcanoes errupt, do continents really float ?
Why we first see lightning before hearing the thunder?
Why does cats hair stand on end if you brush and comb?
Why do big ships float when a little stone sinks?
He knew all the answers and never shooed us awayWe called him "encyclopedia uncle" in those golden days.
Imagine my surprise when I met his daughter one day. After fondly asking about him, she coldly informed me"My dad and I are not on talking terms any more."
On further investigation she seemed disgusted that Mr know all had no knowledge at all
Of the inside workings of a daughter's heart.
"He constantly declared that all men are equal
Quoted Plato,Aristotle and Abrahm Lincoln.
But in his heart he still beleived in unequality
And come time to make a will he gave everything
To the boys who will carry on his family name "
"Us sisters he completely ignored and trashed
What is the use of being a daughter to such a man
Who says boys and girls are equal in every way
but boys are more equal than girls in matters of wealth and inheritance
When you ask him to please "Tell Me Why?
A boy is superior to a girl in this day and age!"
He justifies his behavior by declaring
"I am helpless victim of many thousands of years
Of teachings engraved in my genes (wtf?)
From the days of Manu who said that
I dont give any rights whatsoever to women."
"What is the use of knowledge and enlightenment
If you dont have courage to practice what you preach.
When you dont dare walk the walk,
Why talk the talk... So lets move on to some other pleasant things."
Uncle uncle , please tell me why ?
Why the sky is blue? and red and pink and golden too?
Why do birds have beaks, and fish have gills?
Do crocodiles cry, can ostrich fly?
Did giants exist ,do you beleive in ghosts?
Why do volcanoes errupt, do continents really float ?
Why we first see lightning before hearing the thunder?
Why does cats hair stand on end if you brush and comb?
Why do big ships float when a little stone sinks?
He knew all the answers and never shooed us awayWe called him "encyclopedia uncle" in those golden days.
Imagine my surprise when I met his daughter one day. After fondly asking about him, she coldly informed me"My dad and I are not on talking terms any more."
On further investigation she seemed disgusted that Mr know all had no knowledge at all
Of the inside workings of a daughter's heart.
"He constantly declared that all men are equal
Quoted Plato,Aristotle and Abrahm Lincoln.
But in his heart he still beleived in unequality
And come time to make a will he gave everything
To the boys who will carry on his family name "
"Us sisters he completely ignored and trashed
What is the use of being a daughter to such a man
Who says boys and girls are equal in every way
but boys are more equal than girls in matters of wealth and inheritance
When you ask him to please "Tell Me Why?
A boy is superior to a girl in this day and age!"
He justifies his behavior by declaring
"I am helpless victim of many thousands of years
Of teachings engraved in my genes (wtf?)
From the days of Manu who said that
I dont give any rights whatsoever to women."
"What is the use of knowledge and enlightenment
If you dont have courage to practice what you preach.
When you dont dare walk the walk,
Why talk the talk... So lets move on to some other pleasant things."
My dad is better than your dad
I had gone to Juhu beach to look at the setting sun when I saw two kids in an animated debate.I sat down near them and pretended to look at the setting sun.
"My dad killed 3 cockroaches and 4 mosquitoes yesterday night"
"Thats nothing. Mine killed 5 cockroaches 10 mosquitoes and 2 rats last night."Really? Wonder what other creatures dads hunt at night They dug furiously in the sand and each tried to build a bigger sand dome.
"My dad's office is in the tallest building in mumbai.He goes on the terrace and flies kites in the air!"
"My dad's office is in the tallest building in the India. He goes on the terrace and flies a string of 10 kites at the same time!"
"Huh? But my dads office is moving next year to new tallest building in the whole world"
"My dad 's office is going to move to the international space station' Will the dads still be flying kites from those vantage points I wondered
While digging the first boy found some old rusted coin in the sand."Look what I found !" he shouted in excitement.. Clearly the tables had turned.
"Show me !"said the other and snatched the prize.Then there was nothing but violence. Arms and legs, fists and punches, tugging of clothes and tearing of buttons, Accompanied by blood curdling yells. The purpose of this exercise seemed to be sitting on top of the opponenets stomach and punching him in the face as hard as you can.
"Bam""Wham""dhushum" "smack" remember the old comic books?After they had rolled in the sand and given each other the physical for about five mins, someone in high command yelled in the background " Stop Fighting at once!"
Another shrill female voice erupted "Nak me dam kar rakha hein. Jab dekho fighting."
Obviously Those were the " insignificant moms ! " out there. Never to be ignored and always to be obeyed.The two boys cooled down in a flash They each had sand in the hair, in the shirt pockets, in the mouth and God alone knew where and where else..The coin was lost in the fight but it had given them another topic for verbal wrestling.
"My dad is richer than your dad!"
"Oh yeah? My dad earns more money than anyone else in the world."
"No wonder Indians feature regularly in the fortune 500 worlds richest lists."I thought to myself but was totally not prepared for what came next.
"My dad earns three petis full of black money every month"
"Huh? Mine earns 5 khokas full of black money every week"
"My dad has a sackful of gold buscuits and diamonds"
"Mine has a truck load of gold buscuits and diamonds "
"Childish imagination or childish exageration?"
Gone are the days of innocent kids blissfully unaware of the finanaces of the family There was a time when people were not talking so openly about black money. Many had just been introduced to this new concept and were uncomfortable with it. If forced by circumstances they reluctantly and fearfully adjusted to the black environment.It was done in a hush hush under the table manner, in a shameful, but majboor way.
Now even little kids discuss the black money while building their sand castles on Juhu beach. It has become a part and parcel of our life.Did some one want my opinion on tax reforms and my budget wishlist?Well have they considered the black and white and green bucks? Have they given any thought to the parallel economy, the tax evasions , the rampant corruptionI am so looking forward to this years incentives...
"My dad killed 3 cockroaches and 4 mosquitoes yesterday night"
"Thats nothing. Mine killed 5 cockroaches 10 mosquitoes and 2 rats last night."Really? Wonder what other creatures dads hunt at night They dug furiously in the sand and each tried to build a bigger sand dome.
"My dad's office is in the tallest building in mumbai.He goes on the terrace and flies kites in the air!"
"My dad's office is in the tallest building in the India. He goes on the terrace and flies a string of 10 kites at the same time!"
"Huh? But my dads office is moving next year to new tallest building in the whole world"
"My dad 's office is going to move to the international space station' Will the dads still be flying kites from those vantage points I wondered
While digging the first boy found some old rusted coin in the sand."Look what I found !" he shouted in excitement.. Clearly the tables had turned.
"Show me !"said the other and snatched the prize.Then there was nothing but violence. Arms and legs, fists and punches, tugging of clothes and tearing of buttons, Accompanied by blood curdling yells. The purpose of this exercise seemed to be sitting on top of the opponenets stomach and punching him in the face as hard as you can.
"Bam""Wham""dhushum" "smack" remember the old comic books?After they had rolled in the sand and given each other the physical for about five mins, someone in high command yelled in the background " Stop Fighting at once!"
Another shrill female voice erupted "Nak me dam kar rakha hein. Jab dekho fighting."
Obviously Those were the " insignificant moms ! " out there. Never to be ignored and always to be obeyed.The two boys cooled down in a flash They each had sand in the hair, in the shirt pockets, in the mouth and God alone knew where and where else..The coin was lost in the fight but it had given them another topic for verbal wrestling.
"My dad is richer than your dad!"
"Oh yeah? My dad earns more money than anyone else in the world."
"No wonder Indians feature regularly in the fortune 500 worlds richest lists."I thought to myself but was totally not prepared for what came next.
"My dad earns three petis full of black money every month"
"Huh? Mine earns 5 khokas full of black money every week"
"My dad has a sackful of gold buscuits and diamonds"
"Mine has a truck load of gold buscuits and diamonds "
"Childish imagination or childish exageration?"
Gone are the days of innocent kids blissfully unaware of the finanaces of the family There was a time when people were not talking so openly about black money. Many had just been introduced to this new concept and were uncomfortable with it. If forced by circumstances they reluctantly and fearfully adjusted to the black environment.It was done in a hush hush under the table manner, in a shameful, but majboor way.
Now even little kids discuss the black money while building their sand castles on Juhu beach. It has become a part and parcel of our life.Did some one want my opinion on tax reforms and my budget wishlist?Well have they considered the black and white and green bucks? Have they given any thought to the parallel economy, the tax evasions , the rampant corruptionI am so looking forward to this years incentives...
Long lost twins
Bunty and Binny were non related twins.They shared the same birthday and the same playgroup when they were little babies. Then Binny's parents decided to move to the US and she was seperated from her little pal.
For some strange reason they met again as teenagers. Binny had gone to India for summer vacation.There was an instant chemistry and they just clicked together as if they had never been apart. Magical, like long lost twins in the kumbh mela.They were both going to turn 16 soon.
"Lets see what Binny is upto " thought Bunty.He made a phone call to surprise her.And surprised she was. Because the phone rang at 2 O 'clock in the night. Really annoyed at the caller she yelled " Hey whats up? Is it like a real emergency or something?
"Bunty was amused. "Binny there is no emergency, this is Bunty here!"
"Go to sleep Bunts call me tomorrow ok?"
"Binny I just want to know how you are celebrating your sweet sixteenth birthday ""OMG! Am I 16 already? I am really OLD! Gosh!"
This shocked her out of her sleep and she switched on the light."Bunty, stupid you woke me up in the middle of the night! "
"Sorry Binny!""Oh Bunty love, Is it really you?" she was fully awake by now.
"Yes Binny! Just me! Oops I forgot its night over there. Shall I disconnect?"
"NO no. please continue .Whats up? ""Nothing""You better have a good reason to wake me up. Actually I had just fallen asleep half an hour back."
"Partying big time huh?" Bunty was worried.
"No stupid studying calculus and geometry and biology.No time to do physics tonight"
"Same problem here. I have school homework and then class homework.I am dead man walking. Which classes have you joined?"
"What do you mean classes?" Binny was puzzled.
"Classes for maths and science yaar.I go to three different ones. But they are really good. They explain everything nicely. And tell you the most likely questions. I am constantly solving problems . It has given me a lot of confidence.Last years batch all got 95% marks."
"Well lucky you. We dont have any classes here. And no cheat sheets and most likely questions either.I have to struggle all by myself on the assignments."
"Poor girl! "cried Bunty."Well then what do you do after school?"
"I rush back home and go to work at the Home Depot four times a week and the remaining two times a week I go to the retirement home and volunteer"
"Why do you have to volunteer yaar? Is there some old buddha maroying line on ya?" Bunty managed a weak smile at his end.
"I have to volunteer in order to earn my high school diploma, you idiot..And they are so sweet at the retirement home, I just love them.They are spoiling me with love."
Bini is wasting her time with old people" thought Bunty. He was even more puzzeled about the 4 days a week work at the Home Depot part.
"What did you say you do at the Home Depot? I heard worked!"
"I work for a living like everyone else. All my friends are into jobs and so I took one also. I will save some money and not end up with high student loans" replied Binny.
"But why do you have to work? Have your parents lost their minds to send you to work. You are not even 16 years old. yet.You are a child!"
"Yo but its OK . If you are almost 16 and doing well in school most of the stores will hire you"
"But what is the NEED to work" blurted Bunty. "If you were in India, there would be no question of you going and working."His agony was unmistakable.
"Ya but I am in US and here everyone works and becomes independent " At least all my friends do. And those who dont take their life seriously end up inrave parties and drugs or teenage pregnancies,or worst" she was getting upset about Bunty's attitude.
"OK baba dont fight. Its a good thing you are becoming a responsible girl."said Bunty."But what are your plans for your birthday ?"
"First you tell me what are you doing?"
"I am going to get an electric guitar and become a rock star!" declared Bunty.
"ha ha ha ha" They both had to laugh at this ."And then I will give my room a complete new look!"
"What are you going to do Bunty?" Binny remembered all the different ways of room makeover that she had learnt at the Home Depot.
"I am not going to do anything yaar. My mom and dad and the painters will decide what to do."
"Why would they do that?" now Binny was really surprised."Do what?"
"Paint your room" "Excuse me??"
"Its your room isn't it.?"Binny demanded an angry explanation.
"Ya, so.?" "Wonder whats this female is so upset about ?" wondered Bunty.
"So Why Dont You Paint it Yourself ?" Binny exploded.
"Are you mad Binny? Why will I paint my own room?"
"Because its your room, and no one else has the right to touch it!" Binnys final answer surprised him even more.
"Binny dear girl, this is India. Here we dont have to paint our own rooms. We have painters come in and do the job for us.Understand? Why would I even want to paint my own room?" Bunty burst out laughing.
"Well Mr So and So I painted my own room last month. It was too baby pink. And the beige paint was on sale at the Home Depot. So I just got two cans, and painted my own room. A fine job I have done too"Binny boasted loftily.
"OK Binny, you paint the house, you work, you volunteer, you struggle all by yourself with no help on calculus, you have no life there. Why dont you join the Indian universities and come have fun over here?" Bunty was full of compassion.
"I am having FUN here too. I am getting my driving licence as soon as I turn 16 ! Then I will have a real life. My parents wont have to drive me around anymore!' declared Binny. YippeeeIn her mind she was behind the wheels of a used BMW, definetly a red convertable . She was zooming down the highway with complete ease and confidence.
Soon she was going to be moving out of her parents house and begin a new life on her own. And she was going to do everything by herself. Change the light bulbs, install her wireless network,paint the house, do the plumbing, take the car to work, change the tires,mow the lawn, shovel the snow and do well in university. She was determined to get a scholarship, and be financially independent.
"I cant hear you Binny.Are you there?"Bunty's voice drifted from a far away land
"I am not there bunty" she whispered and disconnected the phone.
For some strange reason they met again as teenagers. Binny had gone to India for summer vacation.There was an instant chemistry and they just clicked together as if they had never been apart. Magical, like long lost twins in the kumbh mela.They were both going to turn 16 soon.
"Lets see what Binny is upto " thought Bunty.He made a phone call to surprise her.And surprised she was. Because the phone rang at 2 O 'clock in the night. Really annoyed at the caller she yelled " Hey whats up? Is it like a real emergency or something?
"Bunty was amused. "Binny there is no emergency, this is Bunty here!"
"Go to sleep Bunts call me tomorrow ok?"
"Binny I just want to know how you are celebrating your sweet sixteenth birthday ""OMG! Am I 16 already? I am really OLD! Gosh!"
This shocked her out of her sleep and she switched on the light."Bunty, stupid you woke me up in the middle of the night! "
"Sorry Binny!""Oh Bunty love, Is it really you?" she was fully awake by now.
"Yes Binny! Just me! Oops I forgot its night over there. Shall I disconnect?"
"NO no. please continue .Whats up? ""Nothing""You better have a good reason to wake me up. Actually I had just fallen asleep half an hour back."
"Partying big time huh?" Bunty was worried.
"No stupid studying calculus and geometry and biology.No time to do physics tonight"
"Same problem here. I have school homework and then class homework.I am dead man walking. Which classes have you joined?"
"What do you mean classes?" Binny was puzzled.
"Classes for maths and science yaar.I go to three different ones. But they are really good. They explain everything nicely. And tell you the most likely questions. I am constantly solving problems . It has given me a lot of confidence.Last years batch all got 95% marks."
"Well lucky you. We dont have any classes here. And no cheat sheets and most likely questions either.I have to struggle all by myself on the assignments."
"Poor girl! "cried Bunty."Well then what do you do after school?"
"I rush back home and go to work at the Home Depot four times a week and the remaining two times a week I go to the retirement home and volunteer"
"Why do you have to volunteer yaar? Is there some old buddha maroying line on ya?" Bunty managed a weak smile at his end.
"I have to volunteer in order to earn my high school diploma, you idiot..And they are so sweet at the retirement home, I just love them.They are spoiling me with love."
Bini is wasting her time with old people" thought Bunty. He was even more puzzeled about the 4 days a week work at the Home Depot part.
"What did you say you do at the Home Depot? I heard worked!"
"I work for a living like everyone else. All my friends are into jobs and so I took one also. I will save some money and not end up with high student loans" replied Binny.
"But why do you have to work? Have your parents lost their minds to send you to work. You are not even 16 years old. yet.You are a child!"
"Yo but its OK . If you are almost 16 and doing well in school most of the stores will hire you"
"But what is the NEED to work" blurted Bunty. "If you were in India, there would be no question of you going and working."His agony was unmistakable.
"Ya but I am in US and here everyone works and becomes independent " At least all my friends do. And those who dont take their life seriously end up inrave parties and drugs or teenage pregnancies,or worst" she was getting upset about Bunty's attitude.
"OK baba dont fight. Its a good thing you are becoming a responsible girl."said Bunty."But what are your plans for your birthday ?"
"First you tell me what are you doing?"
"I am going to get an electric guitar and become a rock star!" declared Bunty.
"ha ha ha ha" They both had to laugh at this ."And then I will give my room a complete new look!"
"What are you going to do Bunty?" Binny remembered all the different ways of room makeover that she had learnt at the Home Depot.
"I am not going to do anything yaar. My mom and dad and the painters will decide what to do."
"Why would they do that?" now Binny was really surprised."Do what?"
"Paint your room" "Excuse me??"
"Its your room isn't it.?"Binny demanded an angry explanation.
"Ya, so.?" "Wonder whats this female is so upset about ?" wondered Bunty.
"So Why Dont You Paint it Yourself ?" Binny exploded.
"Are you mad Binny? Why will I paint my own room?"
"Because its your room, and no one else has the right to touch it!" Binnys final answer surprised him even more.
"Binny dear girl, this is India. Here we dont have to paint our own rooms. We have painters come in and do the job for us.Understand? Why would I even want to paint my own room?" Bunty burst out laughing.
"Well Mr So and So I painted my own room last month. It was too baby pink. And the beige paint was on sale at the Home Depot. So I just got two cans, and painted my own room. A fine job I have done too"Binny boasted loftily.
"OK Binny, you paint the house, you work, you volunteer, you struggle all by yourself with no help on calculus, you have no life there. Why dont you join the Indian universities and come have fun over here?" Bunty was full of compassion.
"I am having FUN here too. I am getting my driving licence as soon as I turn 16 ! Then I will have a real life. My parents wont have to drive me around anymore!' declared Binny. YippeeeIn her mind she was behind the wheels of a used BMW, definetly a red convertable . She was zooming down the highway with complete ease and confidence.
Soon she was going to be moving out of her parents house and begin a new life on her own. And she was going to do everything by herself. Change the light bulbs, install her wireless network,paint the house, do the plumbing, take the car to work, change the tires,mow the lawn, shovel the snow and do well in university. She was determined to get a scholarship, and be financially independent.
"I cant hear you Binny.Are you there?"Bunty's voice drifted from a far away land
"I am not there bunty" she whispered and disconnected the phone.
Are there three people in this marraige?
On valentines day I overheard two girlfriends having this shocking conversation in the shopping mall
Friend : "Cookie yaar who's the most important person in your life?"
Cookie :(answered without batting an eye) "My kamvali bai yaar.!"
Friend : "Ya mine too.My life absolutely revolves around the bai.
She rules my house.Without her I am totally lost. Who will do all the dirty work yaar?"
Cookie: "Ya I cant do it even for a day . It depresses me so.
"Frend: "Hein na? After all that hard work in the office I just want to come home and stick my legs up. I am not doing any barten sharten."
They had found their comfort zone in each others hearts. No husband, mother in law or child in the family ever knew the dirty secret. that kamwali bai was more important than they were..
C: "I'll tell you a secret. My kamwali is not what she used to be before.I do so much for her but she still wants more and more.
"F: "Ya same like mine yaar. But I cant even let her quit . I lent her so much money that even if she works free for the next five years she wont be able to repay it.!"
C: "And her demands are going up and up yaar. She wants a salary hike every Diwali, a 25% bonus, an overtime @ twice normal pay every time we have guests, and new and improved mops all the time.First she was OK with nirma and now she just wants the latest detergents"
F: "I know. When mine started working at my place she was just another bai yaar, she used to do all the barten, kapda, zadu pocha for 300 rupees.Now I pay her 700 yaar."
C: "But she comes twice a day na?"
F: "Only for barten yaar, and she comes at 10 at night and makes so much noise with the barten. And she regularly breaks my coffee mugs."
C: "Mine breaks crokery too. When my old set is broken I have to buy a new set and then I give the bai all the old odd ones.Better than throwing it away."
F: "Yaar Cookie, she must be breaking the mugs on purpose. But I keep my mouth shut. If I had to clean dishes all the time, I would break them all in the very first hour yaar."And they burst into giggles like little school girls. Who would have thought that breaking dishes tickles your funny bone so.They did some more shopping. Then one of their mobile phones rang
C:" Haan bai bolo? Kya hua? Baccha bimar hein? OMG.Usey hospital lekar jao. Aur phikur mat karna, mein doctor ka pura kharch de doongi.Sham ko jarror ana.Riksha ka kharcha bhi doongi. ???Haan dono time ka, lekin jaroor ana bai. Mein wait karoongi raatko.!!"
F: "Yaar cookie toomne kamwali ko sar pe chadha rakha hein!". Suddenly her mobile phone rang too,it was her kamwali bai."Hello bai? kya hua? wapas sharab peeke peetayi kar raha hein?Ek kaam karo, tuum mere ghar chale jao, chay waay piyo, fridge me samosen hein woh khao.Aur mein aati hoon.Phir dekhte hein. Haan TV dekho aramse.Accha !"
Both of them hurridly did their shopping and rushed home to their respective kamvali bais.I was shocked to my bones. Is that what happens in the modern working women's home in mumbai? Its like the kamvali bai is replacing the housewife here.
(Are there three people in this marraige?)
Friend : "Cookie yaar who's the most important person in your life?"
Cookie :(answered without batting an eye) "My kamvali bai yaar.!"
Friend : "Ya mine too.My life absolutely revolves around the bai.
She rules my house.Without her I am totally lost. Who will do all the dirty work yaar?"
Cookie: "Ya I cant do it even for a day . It depresses me so.
"Frend: "Hein na? After all that hard work in the office I just want to come home and stick my legs up. I am not doing any barten sharten."
They had found their comfort zone in each others hearts. No husband, mother in law or child in the family ever knew the dirty secret. that kamwali bai was more important than they were..
C: "I'll tell you a secret. My kamwali is not what she used to be before.I do so much for her but she still wants more and more.
"F: "Ya same like mine yaar. But I cant even let her quit . I lent her so much money that even if she works free for the next five years she wont be able to repay it.!"
C: "And her demands are going up and up yaar. She wants a salary hike every Diwali, a 25% bonus, an overtime @ twice normal pay every time we have guests, and new and improved mops all the time.First she was OK with nirma and now she just wants the latest detergents"
F: "I know. When mine started working at my place she was just another bai yaar, she used to do all the barten, kapda, zadu pocha for 300 rupees.Now I pay her 700 yaar."
C: "But she comes twice a day na?"
F: "Only for barten yaar, and she comes at 10 at night and makes so much noise with the barten. And she regularly breaks my coffee mugs."
C: "Mine breaks crokery too. When my old set is broken I have to buy a new set and then I give the bai all the old odd ones.Better than throwing it away."
F: "Yaar Cookie, she must be breaking the mugs on purpose. But I keep my mouth shut. If I had to clean dishes all the time, I would break them all in the very first hour yaar."And they burst into giggles like little school girls. Who would have thought that breaking dishes tickles your funny bone so.They did some more shopping. Then one of their mobile phones rang
C:" Haan bai bolo? Kya hua? Baccha bimar hein? OMG.Usey hospital lekar jao. Aur phikur mat karna, mein doctor ka pura kharch de doongi.Sham ko jarror ana.Riksha ka kharcha bhi doongi. ???Haan dono time ka, lekin jaroor ana bai. Mein wait karoongi raatko.!!"
F: "Yaar cookie toomne kamwali ko sar pe chadha rakha hein!". Suddenly her mobile phone rang too,it was her kamwali bai."Hello bai? kya hua? wapas sharab peeke peetayi kar raha hein?Ek kaam karo, tuum mere ghar chale jao, chay waay piyo, fridge me samosen hein woh khao.Aur mein aati hoon.Phir dekhte hein. Haan TV dekho aramse.Accha !"
Both of them hurridly did their shopping and rushed home to their respective kamvali bais.I was shocked to my bones. Is that what happens in the modern working women's home in mumbai? Its like the kamvali bai is replacing the housewife here.
(Are there three people in this marraige?)
The brides father
The brides father is very easy to spot
He is armed with a zoli full of photographs of his grown up daughter in every pose
In a saree, chanya choli punjabi suitskirt blouse , and more
His shoes are all worn out just like his face
He is humble and soft spoken most of the days
He bends and bows as he hands out to everybody
His daughters computerized horoscope with kundali
With a father of the bride laugh and cough
He introduces the topic in every coffee bar
He prefers someone from his own caste he says,
If not found, at least same religion is a must
Meanwhile biological clock of bride is ticking away
With each passing month to everyones dismay
All are worried and decide to drop the religion clause
And just settle for any person who will marry her fast.
Her shadi.com account is going down real quick
With every case of rejected match she's kicked
They decide it is futile in this day and age
To insist on horoscope make it optional, just in case
There's a boy somewhere ready for a show
Even though it means settling for a shadow
Lets go check out his family and background
And negotiate the terms before the holy vows
it seems that the groom's brother doesn't like girl
But groom's father will decide if dowry terms agree
Grapevine has it that his mom is keen for bahu(nok)rani
And the sister is eager to have a friend so it all ends well
It's time to budget the money for the wedding
Grooms family wants lavish extravagant spending
Gifts for the fifty friends shirts for all the grooms men
Sarees for elderly relatives and pantsuits for women
All expenses for the wedding to be paid in cash
Three meals per day for two hundred guests
A fridge, plasma TV, A car and 20 tolas of gold
Its agreed bring out the sweets and lo and behold
The big fat Indian wedding begins in earnest
The mehendi, the dhols, the barats and dances
Everything is captured on videos and filmi sets
Next year sister wants an even bigger farce.
He is armed with a zoli full of photographs of his grown up daughter in every pose
In a saree, chanya choli punjabi suitskirt blouse , and more
His shoes are all worn out just like his face
He is humble and soft spoken most of the days
He bends and bows as he hands out to everybody
His daughters computerized horoscope with kundali
With a father of the bride laugh and cough
He introduces the topic in every coffee bar
He prefers someone from his own caste he says,
If not found, at least same religion is a must
Meanwhile biological clock of bride is ticking away
With each passing month to everyones dismay
All are worried and decide to drop the religion clause
And just settle for any person who will marry her fast.
Her shadi.com account is going down real quick
With every case of rejected match she's kicked
They decide it is futile in this day and age
To insist on horoscope make it optional, just in case
There's a boy somewhere ready for a show
Even though it means settling for a shadow
Lets go check out his family and background
And negotiate the terms before the holy vows
it seems that the groom's brother doesn't like girl
But groom's father will decide if dowry terms agree
Grapevine has it that his mom is keen for bahu(nok)rani
And the sister is eager to have a friend so it all ends well
It's time to budget the money for the wedding
Grooms family wants lavish extravagant spending
Gifts for the fifty friends shirts for all the grooms men
Sarees for elderly relatives and pantsuits for women
All expenses for the wedding to be paid in cash
Three meals per day for two hundred guests
A fridge, plasma TV, A car and 20 tolas of gold
Its agreed bring out the sweets and lo and behold
The big fat Indian wedding begins in earnest
The mehendi, the dhols, the barats and dances
Everything is captured on videos and filmi sets
Next year sister wants an even bigger farce.
Love is..
Ammi sat in the old age home all alone. She had alzermiers disease. That meant she should not remember a thing. But then, why were tears streaming down her face? Did she know that she was all alone in a world full of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren who had forgotten her 84 th birthday?
As she stared blankly into the great open spaces did she want to erase her life.. Some of it.. All of it? Her innocent childhood in a rural zamindar family, the nokar chakar who happily obliged her wishes, her little brothers and sisters who played with her the whole day, the whiff of purana basmati from big copper patelas, the fuss in the kitchen ,the bickering and lobbying going on in her hindu joint family, kiddi pranks to get extra laddoos, firecrackers on diwali days,the rush to ramlila grounds, Ganpati aartis, fasting on karva -chouth ..the sankrants the lohris and rang panchami and holis, and constant monthly satyanarayan mahapoojas.
The big shopping trips before schools started, the visits to the tailor master for uniforms? The constant washing and folding of clothes and unending tidy ups.Did she remember the great big lassi pot with the long wooden churner, and the fluffy white makhan ?The grinding stones where the ladies of the house made all kinds of wheat flours and multigrain flours..their big green farms and the bullock cart rides, the mango orchards and the coconut rows? The big well were they swam around the whole of summer, and the little pet dog whom they always fed under the table! Did she remember all those papads and preserves drying on terraces and the pickles and jams stored in large ceramic pots tied up with muslin?? And her little brother watering the tulsi in the morning?
Did she remember her coming of age , her engagement followed by quick marraige to her husband of 51 years who had died suddenly ? Did she remember his kindness, his gentle manners, his mischievous eyes, his strong muscular body? His loyality and devotion to her? Did she even know how lucky she was to marry a Man in a great world full of "other types" Even though they were not rich, he was a gazzzeted officer in govt service, and they had plenty of everything ,even for guests. They lived in complete bliss and contentment ,they were so nice that everyone in the neighbourhood wanted to be their friends..Well, half the neighbors showed up regularly at the diner table during meal times because they loved ammis food.
Did she remember that she loved feeding the whole village and making pickles and papads and masalas for them too? Did she remember the birth of her children? All the little sacrifices they had made, all the little hurdles of mumps and bumps, measles and whizzles? All the thankless tasks she had done non stop? All that unpaid labour of love?
She had spent her entire life looking after other peoples needs and it had never stopped. After the children came her grandchildrens needs. Then suddenly out of the blue it happened. Her husband of 51 years collapsed and died of a massive stroke. It was so sudden and so quick that time froze for her.
Slowly ammi began getting absent minded, forgetful..Sometimes she forgot to cook and sometimes she cooked too much.She either forgot to take bath or kept on taking baths..She forgot to lock the door or she forgot to turn off the gas. She also got into the bus and did not know where she wanted to go..But mercifully one of the neighbors recognized her and brought her back home.
The children had a big meeting and decided that she could not live alone any more.It was best to sell off the house.All of them would take turns looking after her. And so ammis whole world collapsed around her in more ways than one. The children sold her house and divided the money. She began spending a few months with one son and then the daughter and then another son and the other daughter.It all went well at first. Then one daughter in law complained to her husband about ammis presence in their life affecting her childrens board exams. So she was shunted off to the other son. His wife had old grudges against the family and could be very nasty so ammi went off to the other sisters house. After a few weeks her husband and her children found her to be a nuisance and she was pushed off to her other daughter, Well they did not say anything at all just ignored her completely.
Soon her children decided to move her to an institution where someone could attend to her at all times. Ammi remembered how she had looked after all her grandchildren when the parents were working and dumping the kids into her lap. She remembered all the little pranks they played. She remembered how her house had been turned into a nursery and playgroup at a time when it should have become an empty nest. She remembered the love and affection the grandchildren had brought into the old couples lives. She sometimes talked about them fondly to the attendent in the old age home.
But when anyone came to visit her she looked blankly into their face and cared not to communicate at all. Ammi sat all alone on her 84 th birthday and had nothing but love for her family. She had forgiven and forgotten them.
As she stared blankly into the great open spaces did she want to erase her life.. Some of it.. All of it? Her innocent childhood in a rural zamindar family, the nokar chakar who happily obliged her wishes, her little brothers and sisters who played with her the whole day, the whiff of purana basmati from big copper patelas, the fuss in the kitchen ,the bickering and lobbying going on in her hindu joint family, kiddi pranks to get extra laddoos, firecrackers on diwali days,the rush to ramlila grounds, Ganpati aartis, fasting on karva -chouth ..the sankrants the lohris and rang panchami and holis, and constant monthly satyanarayan mahapoojas.
The big shopping trips before schools started, the visits to the tailor master for uniforms? The constant washing and folding of clothes and unending tidy ups.Did she remember the great big lassi pot with the long wooden churner, and the fluffy white makhan ?The grinding stones where the ladies of the house made all kinds of wheat flours and multigrain flours..their big green farms and the bullock cart rides, the mango orchards and the coconut rows? The big well were they swam around the whole of summer, and the little pet dog whom they always fed under the table! Did she remember all those papads and preserves drying on terraces and the pickles and jams stored in large ceramic pots tied up with muslin?? And her little brother watering the tulsi in the morning?
Did she remember her coming of age , her engagement followed by quick marraige to her husband of 51 years who had died suddenly ? Did she remember his kindness, his gentle manners, his mischievous eyes, his strong muscular body? His loyality and devotion to her? Did she even know how lucky she was to marry a Man in a great world full of "other types" Even though they were not rich, he was a gazzzeted officer in govt service, and they had plenty of everything ,even for guests. They lived in complete bliss and contentment ,they were so nice that everyone in the neighbourhood wanted to be their friends..Well, half the neighbors showed up regularly at the diner table during meal times because they loved ammis food.
Did she remember that she loved feeding the whole village and making pickles and papads and masalas for them too? Did she remember the birth of her children? All the little sacrifices they had made, all the little hurdles of mumps and bumps, measles and whizzles? All the thankless tasks she had done non stop? All that unpaid labour of love?
She had spent her entire life looking after other peoples needs and it had never stopped. After the children came her grandchildrens needs. Then suddenly out of the blue it happened. Her husband of 51 years collapsed and died of a massive stroke. It was so sudden and so quick that time froze for her.
Slowly ammi began getting absent minded, forgetful..Sometimes she forgot to cook and sometimes she cooked too much.She either forgot to take bath or kept on taking baths..She forgot to lock the door or she forgot to turn off the gas. She also got into the bus and did not know where she wanted to go..But mercifully one of the neighbors recognized her and brought her back home.
The children had a big meeting and decided that she could not live alone any more.It was best to sell off the house.All of them would take turns looking after her. And so ammis whole world collapsed around her in more ways than one. The children sold her house and divided the money. She began spending a few months with one son and then the daughter and then another son and the other daughter.It all went well at first. Then one daughter in law complained to her husband about ammis presence in their life affecting her childrens board exams. So she was shunted off to the other son. His wife had old grudges against the family and could be very nasty so ammi went off to the other sisters house. After a few weeks her husband and her children found her to be a nuisance and she was pushed off to her other daughter, Well they did not say anything at all just ignored her completely.
Soon her children decided to move her to an institution where someone could attend to her at all times. Ammi remembered how she had looked after all her grandchildren when the parents were working and dumping the kids into her lap. She remembered all the little pranks they played. She remembered how her house had been turned into a nursery and playgroup at a time when it should have become an empty nest. She remembered the love and affection the grandchildren had brought into the old couples lives. She sometimes talked about them fondly to the attendent in the old age home.
But when anyone came to visit her she looked blankly into their face and cared not to communicate at all. Ammi sat all alone on her 84 th birthday and had nothing but love for her family. She had forgiven and forgotten them.
Life without a walking stick
Fufi was the slowest cashiere in the store. Not that she ever wanted to be one. She grew up thinking that her life would begin and end within a marraige. She devoted her time to helping others, taking care of a large extended family. Never had she imagined that she would end up working for a living .
But fate had other plans for her and at the age of 45 ,Fufi's husband died in a tragic accident.She was left alone with three teenagers, none of whom had completed the desired level of education. There was a lot of sympathy for the family in the begining but it soon faded, and they were left to fend for themselves.
The teenagers took part time jobs in call centres and as pizza delivery guys, and Fufi secured a job in the supermarket as a casheire.Far from being good at her work, she was the most confused person there who had no idea about any of the products in the modern supermarket . Whats more she did not care to remember a thing they taught her. She gladly accepted help from her fellow workers and even from the customers. If they asked her the whereabouts of any thing as simple as the maggie noodle, she would stare blankly at them in complete mystification. She also wondered what a maggie noodle was. She hated her job and blamed her karma openly .
Once when she was new in her job, her teenagers came to her store. They discovered the horrible truth about Fufi. How very slow and incompetent she was in her job, how she never heard anything right, or saw properly without her glasses. They discovered how painfully akward she was at returning the change. By the time she started bagging three happy customers had already finished their business in the other line.They felt terribly ashamed of her.
"God how can you ever be a cashiere ?You have no idea how slow you are. We are not working there and yet we can be better than you.God! How can they keep you there? How come you are not yet fired."They hurried out of the store determined never to set foot there agian!
Those were the exact questions fufi asked herself everyday in the first few months."Why dont they just fire me?" But it never happened. Life settled into a slow routine once more. She got a little faster as years went by and at the end of four years she finally knew where all the things were. She even began to relax on the register and joked with her customers who had acceped her incompetance as a fact of life.
Five years went by.One of her son got a very good job and the other had an offer as soon as he graduated. Life was looking good. On the fifth anniversary of her job, the owners offered Fufi a little silver coin with goddess Laxmi and Shri Ganesha on either side.They also gave her a sealed envelope."Aha this must be a salary increase" thought Fufi in excitement and opened her envelope. It contained a message:Your services will no longer be required .
Fufi could not beleive it. "Why me? Why now? Where will I go from here. I am so old.. who will give me a job now?" She ran out crying.
It was then that she saw an old lady painfully walking with the help of a wobbly walking stick.As she was trying to cross the road a rash youth drove right into her and knocked her down. Instead of stopping and assisting the old lady he just kept on driving.
The walking stick broke into two.Fufi and a few others rushed forward to help the old lady. She was badly shaken, and trembling .Tears were rolling down her face and she had suffered several cuts and bruises.
But she got up with the help of the passers by, and thanked them. "God bless you all !" she cried and continued to walk home without her walking stick.
Fufi picked up the broken pieces and silently followed her.
But fate had other plans for her and at the age of 45 ,Fufi's husband died in a tragic accident.She was left alone with three teenagers, none of whom had completed the desired level of education. There was a lot of sympathy for the family in the begining but it soon faded, and they were left to fend for themselves.
The teenagers took part time jobs in call centres and as pizza delivery guys, and Fufi secured a job in the supermarket as a casheire.Far from being good at her work, she was the most confused person there who had no idea about any of the products in the modern supermarket . Whats more she did not care to remember a thing they taught her. She gladly accepted help from her fellow workers and even from the customers. If they asked her the whereabouts of any thing as simple as the maggie noodle, she would stare blankly at them in complete mystification. She also wondered what a maggie noodle was. She hated her job and blamed her karma openly .
Once when she was new in her job, her teenagers came to her store. They discovered the horrible truth about Fufi. How very slow and incompetent she was in her job, how she never heard anything right, or saw properly without her glasses. They discovered how painfully akward she was at returning the change. By the time she started bagging three happy customers had already finished their business in the other line.They felt terribly ashamed of her.
"God how can you ever be a cashiere ?You have no idea how slow you are. We are not working there and yet we can be better than you.God! How can they keep you there? How come you are not yet fired."They hurried out of the store determined never to set foot there agian!
Those were the exact questions fufi asked herself everyday in the first few months."Why dont they just fire me?" But it never happened. Life settled into a slow routine once more. She got a little faster as years went by and at the end of four years she finally knew where all the things were. She even began to relax on the register and joked with her customers who had acceped her incompetance as a fact of life.
Five years went by.One of her son got a very good job and the other had an offer as soon as he graduated. Life was looking good. On the fifth anniversary of her job, the owners offered Fufi a little silver coin with goddess Laxmi and Shri Ganesha on either side.They also gave her a sealed envelope."Aha this must be a salary increase" thought Fufi in excitement and opened her envelope. It contained a message:Your services will no longer be required .
Fufi could not beleive it. "Why me? Why now? Where will I go from here. I am so old.. who will give me a job now?" She ran out crying.
It was then that she saw an old lady painfully walking with the help of a wobbly walking stick.As she was trying to cross the road a rash youth drove right into her and knocked her down. Instead of stopping and assisting the old lady he just kept on driving.
The walking stick broke into two.Fufi and a few others rushed forward to help the old lady. She was badly shaken, and trembling .Tears were rolling down her face and she had suffered several cuts and bruises.
But she got up with the help of the passers by, and thanked them. "God bless you all !" she cried and continued to walk home without her walking stick.
Fufi picked up the broken pieces and silently followed her.
The grinn of cheshire cat :)
Tarzen the jungle boy was caught in the deep forest where he had grown among the wild beasts. He had no contact with civilization at all.
Naturally they took him to the lab to civilize him and teach him language, religion and morality.He soon grew fond of his teacher, Jane by way of pure animal instinct .
To everyones amazement, Tarzen spent hours at a time in front of TV. He especially liked to watch bollywood dances. They seemed to call out to the animal in him.
So Jane decided to use films as her medium of instruction. And what better way to educate a person then start them off with the cartoon network ? So there Tarzen was, watching the best of disney cartoons. He really got involved in Alice in Wonderland, and could never sit in one place while watching it. He tumbled and cartwheeled and climbed on to the fan and tried to immitate the animals he saw there.Till he met the Cheshire cats grin.
Try as he might he could not vanish and reappear and that drove him nuts. So he decided to study the books. He wanted to become wise. He wanted to learn the vanishing trick, in order to escape back to his beloved jungle. One by one he studied history geography maths, till he came to moral science.
He could not understand how it was OK to kill the infidels, ie those who do not think like you.He could not understand how GOD told one group of people to go and kill another group of people and loot and plunder and rape in GOD's name
He could not understand why the people needed any holy priests to stand between and deny entry to GOD's presence just like the receptionist in the front office who kept him away from meeting the visitors.
Suddenly he saw the... grinn followed by the cheshire cat! Tarzen leaped up and caught the purple cat. which promptly vanished, plastering his big grinn on the walls.
They are all the same said the grinn :)
OM : chant the Hindus
Amen: chant the Christians
Ameen: chant the Muslims
OM, Amen , Ameen ..
All are the same. Different strokes, different times, different places, different ways of survival in a difficult world. And as for you Tarzen. just open the door walk out and keep walking.
Eventually you will get there.
Suddenly the door opened and the Cheshire cat walked out with his tail in the air.!..:) He knew that Tarzen would leap out after him.
Naturally they took him to the lab to civilize him and teach him language, religion and morality.He soon grew fond of his teacher, Jane by way of pure animal instinct .
To everyones amazement, Tarzen spent hours at a time in front of TV. He especially liked to watch bollywood dances. They seemed to call out to the animal in him.
So Jane decided to use films as her medium of instruction. And what better way to educate a person then start them off with the cartoon network ? So there Tarzen was, watching the best of disney cartoons. He really got involved in Alice in Wonderland, and could never sit in one place while watching it. He tumbled and cartwheeled and climbed on to the fan and tried to immitate the animals he saw there.Till he met the Cheshire cats grin.
Try as he might he could not vanish and reappear and that drove him nuts. So he decided to study the books. He wanted to become wise. He wanted to learn the vanishing trick, in order to escape back to his beloved jungle. One by one he studied history geography maths, till he came to moral science.
He could not understand how it was OK to kill the infidels, ie those who do not think like you.He could not understand how GOD told one group of people to go and kill another group of people and loot and plunder and rape in GOD's name
He could not understand why the people needed any holy priests to stand between and deny entry to GOD's presence just like the receptionist in the front office who kept him away from meeting the visitors.
Suddenly he saw the... grinn followed by the cheshire cat! Tarzen leaped up and caught the purple cat. which promptly vanished, plastering his big grinn on the walls.
They are all the same said the grinn :)
OM : chant the Hindus
Amen: chant the Christians
Ameen: chant the Muslims
OM, Amen , Ameen ..
All are the same. Different strokes, different times, different places, different ways of survival in a difficult world. And as for you Tarzen. just open the door walk out and keep walking.
Eventually you will get there.
Suddenly the door opened and the Cheshire cat walked out with his tail in the air.!..:) He knew that Tarzen would leap out after him.
the frog and the crocodile
A little tadpole was happily splashing around in the splash pool when she had this sinking feelingIt began at the tip of her tailLo and Behold..Her tail was shrinking in front of her very eyes ! Somebody help me she cried out in terror.
A E I O UCame the reply She looked up to see a hookah smoking caterpillar peering at her. His look is so disgusting thought the tadpole.
I will EAT U . I O U.
I already ate you,
came the reply..
Who R U cried the tadpole.
By now her tail had vanished and so had her fears
For she had grown beautiful legs to replace her akward mermaid tail.
I am the crocodile in the ancient valley of the nile.
But I am not a small fish and not even a stupid fish.I know the jaws of the crocodile said the frog as she hopped out of the splash pool in search of the fat worm .
The caterpillar was nowhere to be found.
Instead there was a little butterfly flashing his wings at her.
Things change said the butterfly in the deep throaty voice of Big B,
You have changed and so have I
Nothing ever remains the same. Dont xpect it to.
The only permanent thing about life is CHANGE
Change change change change
CHANGE they sang and they vanished together into the blue hand in hand
A E I O UCame the reply She looked up to see a hookah smoking caterpillar peering at her. His look is so disgusting thought the tadpole.
I will EAT U . I O U.
I already ate you,
came the reply..
Who R U cried the tadpole.
By now her tail had vanished and so had her fears
For she had grown beautiful legs to replace her akward mermaid tail.
I am the crocodile in the ancient valley of the nile.
But I am not a small fish and not even a stupid fish.I know the jaws of the crocodile said the frog as she hopped out of the splash pool in search of the fat worm .
The caterpillar was nowhere to be found.
Instead there was a little butterfly flashing his wings at her.
Things change said the butterfly in the deep throaty voice of Big B,
You have changed and so have I
Nothing ever remains the same. Dont xpect it to.
The only permanent thing about life is CHANGE
Change change change change
CHANGE they sang and they vanished together into the blue hand in hand
My family
After seeing all those wonderful couples and wonderful lovers online I thought Bling ; Time for reality check !lets look into my normal happy family
Hum do humare do
miya bibi ladka ladki
fair and square
but do we agree on anything???
NO Way.miya looks north bibi looks east ladka looks west and ladki looks in the mirror.
Food
miya wants dal roti and besan ka laddoo bibi wants steamed vegetables and chinese foodladka wants biryani pav bhaji and pizza and ladki wants to derive all her calories from chocolates and carrots.?????
Happy meal times. Nobody eats at the dining table anymore. They all eat in front of the TV or computer screens. A family that eats together stays together....??????
Clothes
miya wants well ironed formal office wear. No shabby chic for himbibi wants jeans and Ts no ironing at all ladka wants to wear shorts and nothing but shortsladki abse cool flipping pages of imported magazines
Indian dress code ? This is globalization my dear
holidays
miya wants to go treking
bibi wants to go shopping
ladka wants to play nintendo
ladki wants to hang out with her friends( We are so old )nowhere is there any "least common factor" to tie our family together
but dears we do love each other while we hate everthing about each others behaviour
we cant wait to be with each other when apart
we phone, send sms and text msgs to check on one another
and cant stand each other once we are together
Ours is the average happy go lucky indian family
Happy days to your happy family from ours dear friendswe are so lucky to have you too in our lives till all this ends...
Hum do humare do
miya bibi ladka ladki
fair and square
but do we agree on anything???
NO Way.miya looks north bibi looks east ladka looks west and ladki looks in the mirror.
Food
miya wants dal roti and besan ka laddoo bibi wants steamed vegetables and chinese foodladka wants biryani pav bhaji and pizza and ladki wants to derive all her calories from chocolates and carrots.?????
Happy meal times. Nobody eats at the dining table anymore. They all eat in front of the TV or computer screens. A family that eats together stays together....??????
Clothes
miya wants well ironed formal office wear. No shabby chic for himbibi wants jeans and Ts no ironing at all ladka wants to wear shorts and nothing but shortsladki abse cool flipping pages of imported magazines
Indian dress code ? This is globalization my dear
holidays
miya wants to go treking
bibi wants to go shopping
ladka wants to play nintendo
ladki wants to hang out with her friends( We are so old )nowhere is there any "least common factor" to tie our family together
but dears we do love each other while we hate everthing about each others behaviour
we cant wait to be with each other when apart
we phone, send sms and text msgs to check on one another
and cant stand each other once we are together
Ours is the average happy go lucky indian family
Happy days to your happy family from ours dear friendswe are so lucky to have you too in our lives till all this ends...
kanchuki club
Asha's 90 yr old great grandmother and her five yr old daughter had heard the loud sobbing and come to investigate. Asha' other three friends and me, were all trying to console the hysterical female who was holding a 38 DD lace and satin bra and yelling at the top of her voice:"Whose is this? What is my fault ? Where did I go wrong?"
The great grandma told Asha's daughter to go and get a glass of cold water . She then took away the bra from Asha's hands and drew my sobbing friend and consoled her with a big hug. The old lady then proceeded to tell us all a story from her past.
"This is not a modern day problem Asha " she whispered. "It was there even in our days!"Asha momentarily looked up in bewilderment at her badi sasuji..."We were a group of seven young brides all 15 or 16 yrs old when we had discovered the dirty secret about the kanchuki club! Oh yes" The grand old lady wiped off a tear and continued:"
We had just found out that our husbands not only had mistresses, but they all belonged to a secret society of mistress swappers.They called themselves members of the kanchuki club! "Kanchuki was a traditional undergarment, not as fancy as this one.."She lovingly felt the silk and the lace and admired the crafting of a 38 DD push up bra.She sighed as she spoke
"On every weekend they used to meet in their aristocratic friends house for wine women and song.They had a regular mehefil and dancing girls and all that stuff. After drinking and gambling they each got out their mistress's kanchuki and tossed it in a big copper pot.Then everyone drew one out and off he went with the mistress to whom it belonged." She seemed lost in thoughts.
"After about four months of my marriage I came to know that my husband was an active member of the kanchuki club.I was totally shattered.I went back to my parents house, but they told me that we cant help you in this matter. It is between you and your husband, and they sent me back to him. I was alone, in that great big house barely 15 years old, and my husband was 18. On top of that I had found out that I was also pregnant.So I was stuck for good with that crazy life!!"
We all were stunned. None of us had the courage to ask what happened next. Only Asha's 5 year old daughter dared ask the obvious next question. "Then what did you do grandma?" she wanted some answers before her great grand mother fell asleep in the middle of her story or forgot it alltogether.
"Oh yes! I did the same thing that you are doing now. I took the kanchuki belonging to my husbands mistress to my friend's house.We all were equally perturbed. None of us could dare divorce in those days, but we did not want any kanchuki rivals either." Another pregnant pause from the old lady. It was killing the cats.
"So we decided to start a ladies club of our own.We began inviting young poets and young writers to our club and started showering them with praise and admiration.This began to irritate our husbands.We began praising these young Turks openly till our husbands began to worry a bit. "The old lady burst out laughing till tears rolled down."We declared that we would be going on a picnic with all our friends and children and the poets will accompany us.That did it. All the husbands wanted to come too.They found our activities highly suspicious and they never wanted to leave us out of sight." More laughter.
"Gone were the mistresses and the kanchukis! We continued to organize some new activities every weekend, and soon involved the husbands in every possible way. We flirted openly with each others husbands, knowing all the proper commas, semi -colons , question marks ,and fullstops, and never going too far!!"
Asha wiped off her tears and drank the whole glass of water. She wiped off her tears and ventured a feeble smile.
"That little spice which these activities added to our lives saved all of us.We all had 5- 6 or even more children, and overall led happy married lives, or at least so we like to think.!" Great grand mother had finally fallen asleep.
"Oh you were very clever grandma!" said the 5 year old and ran inside to drag out an old black and white photo album from the old women's trunk. It had pictures of all those picnics. Can you believe it? All the famous marathi poets from the 20s and 30s were there in those yellowing photos....Wow!Could it be true?
My girlfriends decided there and then that we needed to spend more quality time with our hubbys, in the bedrooms of course,and it all started with a trip to the Lingerie shop.We got the wackiest ,expensive ,silky, satiny ,Lacy push ups and Cami's and undies that they had in the shop.We too hoped to engage our straying partners in wild escapades so they would not be tempted to form a modern kanchuki club.
The great grandma told Asha's daughter to go and get a glass of cold water . She then took away the bra from Asha's hands and drew my sobbing friend and consoled her with a big hug. The old lady then proceeded to tell us all a story from her past.
"This is not a modern day problem Asha " she whispered. "It was there even in our days!"Asha momentarily looked up in bewilderment at her badi sasuji..."We were a group of seven young brides all 15 or 16 yrs old when we had discovered the dirty secret about the kanchuki club! Oh yes" The grand old lady wiped off a tear and continued:"
We had just found out that our husbands not only had mistresses, but they all belonged to a secret society of mistress swappers.They called themselves members of the kanchuki club! "Kanchuki was a traditional undergarment, not as fancy as this one.."She lovingly felt the silk and the lace and admired the crafting of a 38 DD push up bra.She sighed as she spoke
"On every weekend they used to meet in their aristocratic friends house for wine women and song.They had a regular mehefil and dancing girls and all that stuff. After drinking and gambling they each got out their mistress's kanchuki and tossed it in a big copper pot.Then everyone drew one out and off he went with the mistress to whom it belonged." She seemed lost in thoughts.
"After about four months of my marriage I came to know that my husband was an active member of the kanchuki club.I was totally shattered.I went back to my parents house, but they told me that we cant help you in this matter. It is between you and your husband, and they sent me back to him. I was alone, in that great big house barely 15 years old, and my husband was 18. On top of that I had found out that I was also pregnant.So I was stuck for good with that crazy life!!"
We all were stunned. None of us had the courage to ask what happened next. Only Asha's 5 year old daughter dared ask the obvious next question. "Then what did you do grandma?" she wanted some answers before her great grand mother fell asleep in the middle of her story or forgot it alltogether.
"Oh yes! I did the same thing that you are doing now. I took the kanchuki belonging to my husbands mistress to my friend's house.We all were equally perturbed. None of us could dare divorce in those days, but we did not want any kanchuki rivals either." Another pregnant pause from the old lady. It was killing the cats.
"So we decided to start a ladies club of our own.We began inviting young poets and young writers to our club and started showering them with praise and admiration.This began to irritate our husbands.We began praising these young Turks openly till our husbands began to worry a bit. "The old lady burst out laughing till tears rolled down."We declared that we would be going on a picnic with all our friends and children and the poets will accompany us.That did it. All the husbands wanted to come too.They found our activities highly suspicious and they never wanted to leave us out of sight." More laughter.
"Gone were the mistresses and the kanchukis! We continued to organize some new activities every weekend, and soon involved the husbands in every possible way. We flirted openly with each others husbands, knowing all the proper commas, semi -colons , question marks ,and fullstops, and never going too far!!"
Asha wiped off her tears and drank the whole glass of water. She wiped off her tears and ventured a feeble smile.
"That little spice which these activities added to our lives saved all of us.We all had 5- 6 or even more children, and overall led happy married lives, or at least so we like to think.!" Great grand mother had finally fallen asleep.
"Oh you were very clever grandma!" said the 5 year old and ran inside to drag out an old black and white photo album from the old women's trunk. It had pictures of all those picnics. Can you believe it? All the famous marathi poets from the 20s and 30s were there in those yellowing photos....Wow!Could it be true?
My girlfriends decided there and then that we needed to spend more quality time with our hubbys, in the bedrooms of course,and it all started with a trip to the Lingerie shop.We got the wackiest ,expensive ,silky, satiny ,Lacy push ups and Cami's and undies that they had in the shop.We too hoped to engage our straying partners in wild escapades so they would not be tempted to form a modern kanchuki club.
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