Love is..

Ammi sat in the old age home all alone. She had alzermiers disease. That meant she should not remember a thing. But then, why were tears streaming down her face? Did she know that she was all alone in a world full of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren who had forgotten her 84 th birthday?
As she stared blankly into the great open spaces did she want to erase her life.. Some of it.. All of it? Her innocent childhood in a rural zamindar family, the nokar chakar who happily obliged her wishes, her little brothers and sisters who played with her the whole day, the whiff of purana basmati from big copper patelas, the fuss in the kitchen ,the bickering and lobbying going on in her hindu joint family, kiddi pranks to get extra laddoos, firecrackers on diwali days,the rush to ramlila grounds, Ganpati aartis, fasting on karva -chouth ..the sankrants the lohris and rang panchami and holis, and constant monthly satyanarayan mahapoojas.
The big shopping trips before schools started, the visits to the tailor master for uniforms? The constant washing and folding of clothes and unending tidy ups.Did she remember the great big lassi pot with the long wooden churner, and the fluffy white makhan ?The grinding stones where the ladies of the house made all kinds of wheat flours and multigrain flours..their big green farms and the bullock cart rides, the mango orchards and the coconut rows? The big well were they swam around the whole of summer, and the little pet dog whom they always fed under the table! Did she remember all those papads and preserves drying on terraces and the pickles and jams stored in large ceramic pots tied up with muslin?? And her little brother watering the tulsi in the morning?
Did she remember her coming of age , her engagement followed by quick marraige to her husband of 51 years who had died suddenly ? Did she remember his kindness, his gentle manners, his mischievous eyes, his strong muscular body? His loyality and devotion to her? Did she even know how lucky she was to marry a Man in a great world full of "other types" Even though they were not rich, he was a gazzzeted officer in govt service, and they had plenty of everything ,even for guests. They lived in complete bliss and contentment ,they were so nice that everyone in the neighbourhood wanted to be their friends..Well, half the neighbors showed up regularly at the diner table during meal times because they loved ammis food.
Did she remember that she loved feeding the whole village and making pickles and papads and masalas for them too? Did she remember the birth of her children? All the little sacrifices they had made, all the little hurdles of mumps and bumps, measles and whizzles? All the thankless tasks she had done non stop? All that unpaid labour of love?
She had spent her entire life looking after other peoples needs and it had never stopped. After the children came her grandchildrens needs. Then suddenly out of the blue it happened. Her husband of 51 years collapsed and died of a massive stroke. It was so sudden and so quick that time froze for her.
Slowly ammi began getting absent minded, forgetful..Sometimes she forgot to cook and sometimes she cooked too much.She either forgot to take bath or kept on taking baths..She forgot to lock the door or she forgot to turn off the gas. She also got into the bus and did not know where she wanted to go..But mercifully one of the neighbors recognized her and brought her back home.
The children had a big meeting and decided that she could not live alone any more.It was best to sell off the house.All of them would take turns looking after her. And so ammis whole world collapsed around her in more ways than one. The children sold her house and divided the money. She began spending a few months with one son and then the daughter and then another son and the other daughter.It all went well at first. Then one daughter in law complained to her husband about ammis presence in their life affecting her childrens board exams. So she was shunted off to the other son. His wife had old grudges against the family and could be very nasty so ammi went off to the other sisters house. After a few weeks her husband and her children found her to be a nuisance and she was pushed off to her other daughter, Well they did not say anything at all just ignored her completely.
Soon her children decided to move her to an institution where someone could attend to her at all times. Ammi remembered how she had looked after all her grandchildren when the parents were working and dumping the kids into her lap. She remembered all the little pranks they played. She remembered how her house had been turned into a nursery and playgroup at a time when it should have become an empty nest. She remembered the love and affection the grandchildren had brought into the old couples lives. She sometimes talked about them fondly to the attendent in the old age home.
But when anyone came to visit her she looked blankly into their face and cared not to communicate at all. Ammi sat all alone on her 84 th birthday and had nothing but love for her family. She had forgiven and forgotten them.